Dan's painful secret
by GeorgiaPhan
Summary: Had to label as Dr.Who, I still cant find the vlogger category!This story is very VERY personal to me, so I really hope I did it justice xxx thankyou! 3 Amzazing Dan/Philisnotonfire/Phan. They are roomates and lovers - like the other Phan fic - but this is a continuation without Dr.Who
1. Chapter 1

Dan was huddled in the corner, with silent tears running down his face. He had been there

for a few hours, and did not seem to want to move.

Phil knocked on the door, cheerily saying 'Hi, I'm home'. He had been shopping, and was

lumbering into the kitchen, where Dan was crouched.

As soon as he saw him, he dropped the bags and ran over. The eggs and milk slowly seeped

out over the floor.

Phil swept Dan up into his arms, carried him to the bedroom, and lay him down on the bed.

Dan seemed small, too fragile to touch or hold. His big brown eyes were full of pain, too

old for him, too full of memories no one should have to hold.

Phil sat gently beside him and held him whilst he wept; he wept for hours. Dan held his

head in his hands and began to gently tear at his hair.

Phil carefully took Dan's hands away from his head, lowering them gently beside him. This

revealed red welts, red cuts and thin white scars.

Phil gasped, not knowing what to say. What could he say?

He held Dan again, strong and firm, giving Dan a shoulder to lean on.

After a few minutes, Phil whispered 'For how long?'.

Dan just shook his head.

'Please. I need to keep you safe babe' Phil urged, needing an answer.

'Years.' Dan uttered, it pained him to say this. Phil saw this pain, and whispered 'Ssshhh. I

am here now' Dan nodded, slowly.

After a while Phil got up and then quickly went into the other room to get blankets, bandages and a bowl of water with cotton wool. Dan saw this and went to move away, but fell back, too weak to counteract Phil's caring and worried side.

Phil slowly and carefully cleaned and bandaged Dan's arms, in doing so he discovered Dan's

arms were crisscrossed with scars and cuts. Whilst cleaning them, Phil winced, but

noticed Dan did not wince once. This troubled Phil.

He wrapped Dan up in all the blankets he could find, though Dan still sat and shivered.

For two or three days afterwards, Phil could not remember as was in a daze of worries

and confusion, Phil called ill at work. He also faked Dan's voice to do the same.

Dan had not spoken for those days, and Phil was eating himself up in anxiety. He had not

dealt with anything like this, and had no idea what to do nor what to say nor even how to

say or do anything.

It was the third or fourth day, when Dan uttered his first words - as such.

They were broken, scarcely hearable or understandable. But Phil heard and understood

more than he had ever before.

They were 'I love you Phil'.


	2. Recovering

By the time Dan had 'recovered' it was a Saturday, so the two boys could easily be alone.

Phil had got up early and had done the majority of the housework, but that was normal as

Dan was never any good at getting up in time.

As Phil was emptying the dishwasher, a strong pair of arms picked him up and carried him to

the sofa.

Phil screamed, kicked and thrashed, thinking he was in danger.

'Ow! You silly oaf!' Dan cried out in pain, dropping Phil onto the edge. Phil slid off and

landed on his back, so could see Dan was the culprit.

'You scared the... you made me jump out of my skin!' Said Phil, refusing to swear as always.

Phil stood up, brushed himself up and sat down on the sofa. Dan followed suit.

'How are you feeling babe?' Phil asked gently, slowly putting his arm around him.

'What do you mean! I am fine!' Dan grinned, but nothing could escape Phil. Dan's eyes were

still full of pain and sorrow.

Phil sighed and just looked at him for a few minutes, then went into the kitchen.

'Right! If you are fine, you're making breakfast!' Phil said smugly.

'B..b..b..but.. uurrgghhh fine!' Dan pretended to sulk and trudged into the kitchen after

him. 'You're washing up then!'

'Dan! I did all the other work!' Phil exclaimed, but he knew that it would never get done

without him.

The two of them spent the weekend indoors, watching Dan's Doctor Who box sets, eating

Maltesers and messing around.

By the end of Sunday, the two were some-what exhausted, and Dan slept swith his head on

Phil's chest. He liked it there, he could listen to Phil's soft breathing and for that moment,

all was right in the world.

_3 what do you want next my Danosaurs? ;)_


	3. The truth

Phil was satisfied, as Dan had made a promise that he would never hurt himself again.

Dan, however, was not happy. He had broken the promise as soon as he had made it, and had no way of telling Phil this.

He knew that if he did, it would break his heart. And if he didnt, he could never rely on someone as there was noone else.

Noone. That word Dan was so familiar with. Being alone. Abandoned. Misunderstood. These were all words that were all too fresh in his mind.

Breaking Phil's heart would be the worst thing he would ever do, and he knew this.

Somehow, he had to keep this a secret. Harder than it sounds, he knew that.

He knew alot. Too much in fact. But somehow, he did not know enough.

Not telling Phil would prolong this. This agony. And increase the heart break.

Dan decided to tell Phil that night.

When Phil got in from work, he cheerily greeted Dan and made his way to their room to change.

When he walked in to the lounge, he noticed Dan curled up on the sofa. This was normal, though he could instantly tell something was not quite

right.

He walked slowly over to the same sofa, lowering himself down and gazing into Dan's dark brown eyes. Dan seemed shifty, like he had done

something wrong.

Phil asked quietly "Dan. Dan, what is it?". Dan just shook his head. Phil sat there for a few minutes and then repeated the question.

Dan did the same as before. Repeating this thrice, Phil changed his tactic. He brought Dan closer and held him against his chest.

He could feel Dan beginning to shake, and this troubled him.

"Dan.." Phi said with a serious tone, knowing this would be hard to get Dan to say anything.

After holding Dan for another few minutes, Phil said, still using the same serious tone "Dan. Dan, you're not pregnant are you?!"

Dan laughed sadly, and just continued to look pained. "I cant tell you... I just really cant."

Phil looked back into Dan's eyes and whispered "Tell me. Please."

Dan crumbled and began to sob. He clawed at his hair, his face, his neck. Phil held him tighter, pinning his arms by his sides and holding him still.

"I.." Dan cried out. "I broke.." Phil looked even more concerned, and held Dan at arms length to see him properly. "I broke my promise" Dan

crumbled once more, shaking and crying out in his arms.

Phil sat there, loosening the hold on Dan. His eyes were glazed, and were looking into the distance.

He could not get to grips with what had just been said. And maybe, he never will. Not fully. Not ever.


End file.
